How hard it is to accept the fact that we are the pawns in the fate's or destiny's hands. One minute we are on the top of the world, and the next one - brings horror.
I took Hanah to school one day. I was very tired, hardly could get out of bed, in fact, but it had to be done. I took my husband's Suzuki, thinking that I'll come back long before he'll have to leave for work in it. We drove on our usual route. I asked Hanah to sing a Simon and Garfunkle's song, "I feel the drizzle of the rain", to make the time pass quicker. She sang so beautifully, touching my very soul. I couldn't help but look at her for a couple of seconds. Then she screamed and pointed forward. The cars in front of us stopped at the red light. There was no-where go go. I breaked as hard as I could, but we crushed into the car ahead of us anyway, The airbags deployed a few seconds later, spraying us with the powder that was inside them. Hanah moaned in pain, her wrist was broken. The airbag hit her in the nose and scratched it badly.
It took years for us to recover from this. Hanah had to have a surgery to repair her wrist tendon, even though the useless orthopedists at the Keiser Permanente insisted that she didn't have any side results from the accident. I don't think, Hanah ever trusted me again the same way. She still twitches, screeches and uses the imaginary break on the passenger side of the car, whenever she sits there and I drive.
Yesterday's events with Sonny suddenly feeling sick reminded me about this. I don't know, if I'll never be able to have a Zen attitude about the sudden turns in my and my family's life.