Saturday, August 3, 2013

MY THERAPIST'S GOODBYE

     The phone call was unexpected. "Dina, where are you?" - my therapist's voice said. I experienced one of those moments, when your brain must catch up to the reality of what is happening, but takes its sweet time doing it. 
- "Dr. S., our last session was the last one. My insurance changed, I can't see you anymore!" - I said and thought, that would be enough to clear the misunderstanding.
- "Last session?" - she repeated.
- "Yes, we talked about it all that hour, remember? You gave me an advice, what to expect and do now. We said good bye!"
- "Well, I don't know.." - she began slurring the words. Once before it happened in the session, and then like now, I became concerned first, if she was having a stroke, then - if she was drunk. How else do you explain the sudden and continuous change in her speech? 
- "I have many patients, who pay me cash, if they really want to see me!" - that was her complaint.
- "Dr. S., are you OK? Why didn't you bring it up at our last session?"
- "That's not important! I just began reading your writing, trying to help you!"
   I gave her my stories and reflections a few months ago. She told me, all the while that we were meeting, that she wanted to read them, but was too busy, and I tried very hard not to be offended by that neglect. Now she tells me that it was my fault that we can not analyze my problems from the stories that I wrote! Still, I wanted to keep her as a friend and didn't react to that nonsense. 
- "Dr. S., don't you remember, we talked about everything at the last session. Do you remember, we said good bye?"
- "Well, good bye then!"
And she hung up on me!

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