I went to a seminar based on a book by Greg Baer, "Real Love in Marriage: the Truth About Finding Genuine Happiness Now and Forever". Wow! What a title! He wrote some other books too. Basically, it pertains to the couples' relationships, but is applicable in any situation where people are involved.
What is it about? Mr. Baer, or Dr. Baer - he used to be a surgeon - says that we react in a negative way or do bad things to others and ourselves because we don't have Real Love in our lives. Real love is as important to us as air or water. When the Americans dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan, and after the first wave of people dying in a blast, most people after that died because they drunk irradiated, poisoned water. When we can't find True Love in our relationships, we do anything to find an imitation of it. We seek power and pleasure in the ways that are bound to bring profound unhappiness to us and others instead of seeking and telling the truth that can cut through the lying to, manipulations and avoidance of and unreasonable attacks on our fellow humans.
Anyway, the book is available for purchase, you can find out about it's contents for yourselves. I hope, it brings you happiness!