WHAT'S IN THIS LIFE?

     Life is so interesting. I just finished writing Moriko. It wasn't very popular with the people who read my blog. Why, I don't know. Maybe, the movie will have more success? Just kidding!
     Anyway, I just finished Moriko and was feeling that emptiness again. What now? Will I ever find something to get interested in, to feel in my bones and fingers when I write it? Then the UCMagazine wrote and asked about preparing my stories for publishing. That gave me something to do for a day or two. Now I'm in that space again, doubting my abilities and staring at the blank page. 
     Perhaps, I make too much of my abilities. Who needs to hear my little tales and ravings? I only know that writing and finding the words in which to put my feelings and memories is already a reason enough for me to live. I feel the life to the fullest when I can't sleep, eat or watch TV because the words keep whirling and arranging themselves in my brain.

     Pushkin, the Russian poet, wrote this: 

I loved you: and, it may be, from my soul
The former love has never gone away,
But let it not recall to you my dole;
I wish not sadden you in any way. 

I loved you silently, without hope, fully,
In diffidence, in jealousy, in pain;
I loved you so tenderly and truly, 
As let you else be loved by any man. 


© Copyright, 1996
Translated by Yevgeny Bonver, August 1995,
Edited by Dmitry Karshtedt, July 1996.

    
 I love Pushkin's works because he, somehow, wrapped great sincerity and passion into the form that would best convey his thoughts and feelings.

     I wonder if each of us has an ability to put our passion into the form that is the closest to our heart. For some it may be a poem, for some - a meal, and for others - a golf stroke. What is it for you then?