Sunday, December 15, 2013


After we were matched. You can see how he and I have something in common !

     And so, our futures became decided and one, although, I must admit that I did not comprehend it fully yet. I had a strong headache, probably, from all the conflicting emotions, so I asked to have some time to rest. We agreed to meet in a few hours, but as I stood in a great crowd of milling, mostly, Japanese faces, I realized that I totally forgot how Taka looked! In fact, as I understood just a bit later, I forgot the exact pronunciation of his name! Horrified at my inattention to such important details, I didn't know, what to do. I made a move toward one fellow, but his scared face and the hurried pace as he walked away from me, told me that I made a mistake. Fortunately, Taka turned up just then. We went out to a cafe next door, then met with some of my friends, spent time with them and returned to the New Yorker, where Rev. Moon continued matching other church members. There we ran into Hitomi and Takashi. Hitomi is Taka's sister! There was something familiar about her. She told me that she and I (after I came back from my quest for water) sat next to each other in the ballroom. Out of about 1,500 women, I sat down next to my future fiance's sister! 
My friend Nasser and  his \
     We talked and took pictures with a lot of other friends, both Taka's and mine. First excitement of being matched faded away after my nap. Now I secretly watched him and thought that he looked like a dork. Well, he did! He had this laughter (still has it) when he felt embarrassed. He sounded like Goofy, the Disney cartoon dog: "Hyuk-Hyuk-Hyuk!" I don't know if Taka had similar thoughts about me. I only tried to focus on thinking positively!
Janine and her fiance
     I forgot to tell you that, my friend, Janine, and I flew into New York together. Like always, she batted her eyes at me and most sincerely asked that we stay together while there. And like always, she dropped me as soon as she met some other friends. I didn't like it one bit, but Janine was dear to my heart, and I, as always, readily forgave her. When the time to leave came, we had to fly together again because we worked in the same place in L.A. Janine was also matched to a Japanese young man. More in touch with her feelings, I guess, she bemoaned the fact that he didn't speak English: "I need talking, I need romance!" I was more focused on a spiritual side of the matching, but I sympathized with my friend. 
     As we changed planes in Dallas airport and walked through a long tunnel to our gate, Janine and I realized that, the first thing both our fiances did was give us their business cards, which was a typical Japanese thing to do. We (mostly, Janine, but I also got infected by her) began to laugh hysterically. Through the tears on my eyes I suddenly saw Taka (I recognized him this time)!!!  He flew to San Francisco and had to make the same layover in Dallas. I blinked at him, hardly able to comprehend this amazing coincidence, then said lamely: "We were just talking about you!" He answered, and I quote: "Hyuk-hyuk, just get spiritual children soon!" - and was gone from my sight. In my church people got matched, but were married and started family after some time passed, and they found others, the said spiritual children, to join the church. 
     That was my experience of being matched. It was tremendously full of significance for both of us, Taka and myself, and also showed me how little I knew of my own nature. It was twenty six years ago. Twenty six years and two children later, we still are trying to meet each other emotionally and continue along the same route. Did our marriage make difference? I don't know about the greater world, but it certainly helped the two of us resolve some things between the East and the West. Not enough resolved, not enough, but our respective families also got to face the whole racial issue and made a little progress on some small level. The grandparents couldn't help but love and adore the kids of our mixed lineages; Taka and I couldn't help but feel responsible for bringing peace and better understanding to them. May be that counts for something! 

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