I am a dilettante in most things. I still remember some of the physics and chemistry that I learned in school. Not much, just enough to nod in a conversation with Sonny. I told you about my chemistry teacher, "Marmishka", who succeeded in intimidating me enough to prevent any further interest in learning exact sciences. Anyway, I do like to think about and discuss the cosmos and it's laws. I also am a sci-fi fan and, in the course of many years and a lot of the Star Trek and other shows and books reading, acquired some pseudo scientific jargon.
Unfortunately, every time Sonny and I talk about some phenomenon or an item that excited him, and I start to think that, perhaps, I do comprehend, what its all about, but then he'd say something, and I realize that I didn't understand anything! (Boy, that sentence is really stupid!)
What am I, actually, trying to say? I regret not having the depth of knowledge that would allow me to perceive my world in a fuller way. "Marmiska" or not, I should've been more diligent in my studies. On the other hand, it never happened: I never could stick to doing the things that really mattered. Is it a character flaw? Is there any use in trying to correct it? Or, is it just a part of who I am?
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