The plan was for me to use non-violent communication in talking with Taka. I should've said that I notice that we don't talk much about anything, and that it is a necessary part of any family's life. "I need to hear what you are thinking and feeling. Would it be possible to go somewhere and spend some time together talking?" That's what I was supposed to say. Instead this idiot (myself) just asked Taka to go for a cup of coffee together. I wrote about it in a previous post. He refused. In the evening, he came out and proposed to go get donuts from Krispy Kreame drive-through. I thought: "Here is my chance," - jumped in the car, got the Ungame cards out and again forgot all about the non-violent thing. Why is it important to do it that way? Because telling him what I feel without blame is just that - telling him about my thoughts and feelings. It is not trying to change him. On the other hand, trying to get Taka to go with me and then starting the whole Ungame thing is, kind of, manipulative, and looks like an attempt to change him. At least, that's what I heard from Mr. P. and agreed with... then.
What happened? Taka totally blew me off! I want to say: "Of course!" - but am trying to have a more positive attitude. I got really mad at him, but it was, in essence, my fault.
What is it that makes me act so stupidly? How could I forget the most important part of the action plan? By the way, the action plan was for me, and not to ambush or influence Taka. Still, it didn't work, since I didn't follow it.
Mr. P. would, probably, say: "Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of life or helped me to love myself more (he would've been proud of me: I remember it by heart)". I don't know, what I did was pretty stupid!
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