IT'S ALL FOR THE BEST

       I don't even understand, how my life became so active again! I ran since morning 'til about now! 

MaMa Asale of The Grandmothers Who Help,
bringing the Black History exhibits to communities

     I do have guilty conscience, though! Tomorrow, I was supposed to go to a training for Covered California, otherwise known as Obamacare. My friend, MaMa Asale, the head and soul of the Grandmothers Who Help, arranged  it so that people in her organization would become agents for Covered Ca. She asked me, if I wanted to do it too, and I volunteered. I did have some reservations, given that program's deficiencies, but decided to get a first hand information about it and try it out. A couple of days ago, Roberta told me that, she and Park thought that this job would not agree with my duties toward her. It's true: I have to take care of her first, check her blood pressure, see if she needs medication, take her to doctors. If I enrolled in Covered Ca., I would have to go to a three days' training, from early morning to three in the afternoon. To make the long story short, I declined working for C.C.! MaMa Asale was very gracious and understanding, but I feel that I've been letting her down...
     All these decisions took place in the afternoon today. In the morning I took Hanah to doctor to talk about her un-ceasing cough and bouts of breathlessness.

An embodiment of hovering Jewish mothers!

     Hanah met that doctor for the first time. I've been the one to call and talk to her until now. I know exactly how it looks: a hovering Jewish mother, who dominates her child and pushes her around. I liked doctor A., though! She said that Hanah doesn't have asthma (I, the hovering mother, was the one because of whose phone calls and urging we came to that conclusion!). She questioned Hanah about possible reasons for her condition. It could not be  acid re-flux or a flu, but soon she realized that Hanah's symptoms are due to stress! They are remarkably similar to panic attacks. It's true, Hanah has been worrying about her finances and, God knows, what else. She is almost 21 years old, but, I guess, not too sure of her future. Doctor A. suggested that Hanah should go on Kaiser's website and access their mental health department's podcasts for relaxation and regulated breathing. 
     I had to do a bunch of stuff at Kaiser, but one thing prevented it. Sveta, my Russian acquaintance, went into labor! She anticipated that occurrence and talked to me about taking her kids for the duration of her labor, at least. So, I found out about it at Kaiser and hurried home to prepare.
     My appointment with Mr. P. was to be at 3, so I talked to Hanah and Sonny and pushed them to agree to babysit the Little Red Headed Monster and Hyosha, her brother. Hanah bailed out almost immediately, and Sonny had to do it all alone until I came home.
     Sveta's husband brought kids to my house at the last minute before I left for my appointment. Katya, her red curls bobbing and fresh freckled face beaming at me, hugged me affectionately. I felt guilty about leaving, but letting Mr. P. down by cancelling appointment was out of the question.

     Mr. P. really helped me to see my own value and the way to stand up to Taka for my dignity. We had a very productive session, focused on the ways to find safe friends (balcony people), who would be with me through thick and thin.  Based on my past history, it became apparent that a common denominator in all my failed friendships was I, myself! We went over the things that can prevent such friendships from forming. Among them are envy, exaggerated self-sufficiency (not admitting one's pressing needs), hiding own likes and dislikes by complying with unreasonable behavior (sooner or later, resentment and depression will bring such friendships to the end). 

     As I arrived home, even from behind the door I could hear cartoons playing on TV. The open door revealed two small kids, entranced by the animated characters in front of them. Actually, Katya, the Red Headed Monster, was all over the place, trying every seat and pillow, standing on her head and rocking on the foot rests of the Nordic Track that we have in the living room. She hugged me again, demanded some chicken nuggets that I brought, but didn't eat any. I made my own chicken for dinner, and that's what she wanted,  I have to admit, to my delight! She and her brother also ate all out cucumbers (they are avid salad lovers). I had to insist on them using plates and forks instead of just grabbing slices from the platter with their pudgy hands, but, finally, gave up and joined them in using my own fingers as utensils. 

     I turned the TV off in an attempt to give them a break from it's destructive influence. Hyosha looked at me with big, questioning eyes, not understanding how I could do such a terrible thing. I told him and Katya that I will turn the TV on after they tell me about themselves. I had to repeat it a few times, as he gazed at me, his eyes filling with tears and a lower lip quacking. Still, he gathered my meaning soon and went the other way than I wanted, but I liked it even better. He told me that he was going to have a little brother now and what his name will be. His bright Russian eyes and reddish-blond silky hair shone! Sponge Bob Square Pants, here we come!
     Before their dad came, I decided to pack and give him all the chicken that I made (minus the pieces that I served Taka for dinner). Dad was a little late and looked exhausted, but was very happy about his newborn son. Welcome, new Earth's citizen!