Wednesday, January 29, 2014


 I am taking the high road. I am rising over the circumstances. I will not play a victim any longer. Why did it take me so long to come to these conclusions? 

     You remember, what happened with Doris, right? I came to pick her up, called her from someone's phone (mine wasn't working), her son said that she already left. It, actually, turned out that her son got mixed up and gave me a wrong message. Doris was waiting for me to pick her up. I didn't know it until later that afternoon. I felt shock, disgust, resentment, frustration. That's the short version of that story.
     I walked with those feelings churning inside of me for a few days. I kept saying in my mind: "When I meet with Mr. P., this is what I'll tell him!"
And I rehearsed my sorry tale, and felt sorrier and sorrier for myself. Today, I was washing dishes and still rehearsing my future conversation with Mr. P. about Doris and her wicked ways, when a thought struck: "This is not about Doris. It's about all those other people, my so called friends, who neglected me and our friendship and made me doubt my own worth. What I am feeling is a  thing of the past. Let go of it!"

     I froze, soap dripping from my hands, and thought for a while. It was true, the mix up was not Doris' fault or mine. I was feeling what
I was feeling because of the emotional baggage that I carry with me (and, partly, because I am a drama queen). I decided then: I will let it go! Well, you heard it already! 
     Today, when I called Doris to arrange picking her up for the Al Anon meeting, she asked, if I was still angry about that mix up. I told her: "Yes", then decided: "No!" We talked about it, laughed a bit, made plans for tonight. She told me to share at the meeting, what I went through and how I decided to let it go. I said: "Well, I want to check first if I really let it go. One thing is to decide something, and another - to actually be able to do it!" 
Yippee, I'm feeling better already!

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