All in all, I like this time that Hanah spent at home. She is leaving tomorrow, and I already feel sad about it.
My first child is, usually, prone to diva-personality attacks. I either have to watch my tongue and ignore her lapses in social graces, personal hygiene and attitude toward me or endure scathing remarks and catty responses to my most innocent inquiries. They might not seem as such to her, but, I think, I deserve at least the benefit of a doubt from her that I have her best interests in mind. Of course, all parents at all times in history, probably thought so!
This time, somewhere in the first week that she was here, I used a method of non-violent communication, O-F-N-R on her. Did you not read my blog about Mr. P.'s suggestion in dealing with people whose behavior causes you pain?!
"O" - OBSERVE:
"I notice, Hanah, that you seem to take offence at everything that I say.
"F" - FEEL:
"I feel, that I deserve a benefit of a doubt from you."
"N" - NEED:
"I need to be able to express my opinions or advice to you in confidence that you'll listen and believe that I say it because I love you."
"R" - REQUEST:
"Would it be possible for you to temper your responses and trust my motivation? I am always open to hear your opinions or change my own ways, if I say or do something wrong."
My lovely daughter proved to me that she has conscience and changed the way she responded to me. I am so happy!
She is still very immature and naive in many ways. I hope, she keeps her heart fresh, un-impaired by life's blows and injustices, but soon matures enough to follow her principles and not mood swings.
I should've used that same technique on Park, when he began accusing Roberta of, only God knows, what today. She dared to come out to the living room to talk to me in the morning, because she thought that, he was gone. I was about to go and make her breakfast, when he came in from outside and began acting like she's done something terrible by not waiting for him to feed her. I had a little bit less (I should say, in all honesty: even less!) patience with him because of being sick. So, I challenged him to explain, why he was upset. He concocted a story of how he was angry at Roberta for eating too late last night and then having stomach problems. "She was waiting for you to feed her, and when you didn't. she came out to the kitchen and took something after 8 o'clock!"
Considering that I was in the living room at that time last night, I knew that he was lying. Again. I didn't let myself feel guilty, therefore, and let him hear my opinion of him acting like a menopausal woman. I guess, sometimes I can be very wise and sometimes I can be a