When I told Mr. P. that Taka and Sonny would not help me, despite my inability to do almost any housework right now, he said that: "we get what we tolerate". It means that, I came to expect that kind of behavior and accept it as normal, and so my guys have no need to change anything.
Today is Sunday. Everyone is at home. I got up early and went to the store. When I came back, my foot was aching something awful. The dishes soaked in the sink, the table had all of the last night's stuff on it. I had to make breakfast for Roberta (Sonny and Taka are too unpredictable in what they desire for that meal on Sunday. I let them deal with it). I had a choice: start washing dishes and cleaning or...
I chose "or". Roberta wouldn't get up, so I began my morning mental exercises. Played a couple of online Scrabble games and did a crossword puzzle.
By about ten o'clock in the morning, I started making Roberta's breakfast. I woke her up then and, as she came out of the room with her hair standing on end, we sat down at the table to have some oatmeal. Yes, today I chose to have oatmeal instead of the Optifast shake or bar prescribed by my diet. I felt, I deserved it!
It's almost 8 o'clock in the evening now. The dishes are still in the sink, although I cleaned the table. I ignored my house chores on purpose today, to see if anyone cared. They didn't! In the middle of the day Sonny appeared (I think, his dad got him out of bed). When I told him, what I expected him to do, my sleepy looking, still ruffled from his struggle with a blanket nineteen years old offspring said with aplomb: "So, I'm not suppose to do any of my homework then?"
- "Were you doing your homework when daddy told you to get up?"
He didn't answer. It took him another couple of hours to get going, but he cleaned the cats' litter box and went shopping. Right now he is resentfully shoving bought groceries to the places where they belong.
Taka did not engage in an argument, whether or not I should be making him meals despite my illness, or whether or not he should be picking up the slack in household chores. Perhaps, he understands that he can't win that discussion. Perhaps, he doesn't care.