I went to sleep at 2:30 last night. At the FA meeting the day before, I met a young girl, who agreed to be my sponsor. When I questioned her, whether the difference in our age would be detrimental for that purpose, she said, she only will try to impart on me, how her sponsor led her. She told me to call her at 6 in the morning for instructions.
As I said, I went to sleep at 2:30. I woke up to an alarm at ten minutes to 6, stumbled around, getting myself ready for the call and made it right on the dot, at 6.
Ileana greeted me tersely. She told me, I have to buy digital scales to weigh my food. Even though, its not a diet, but a kind of a rehabilitation program, where the food addicts learn to live differently with the help of the spiritual and societal discipline (prayer, repentance, communication with other people and sponsors), a big part of the FA program consists of - the diet! Everything Ileana told me, I can eat, are the things I don't like. Besides that, I have to constantly call other people on the program for support, read the literature and go to meetings three times a week! Every day I will need to make food for my family and separate something for myself. I have to ask myself:
1. Is it worth it?
2. Can I stick with it?
Is it worth it to become a healthier person? Is it worth it to, God willing, prolog my life to see the grandchildren, as well as enjoy this beautiful world? Is it worth it to be able to participate in life more fully, because my health and body will allow it?
OK, OK, I'll stop. It is, definitely, worth it.
Now, will I be able to stick with it? I already have heebee-jeebees, thinking about all the changes I have to make in my life. Please, Heavenly God, help me be strong! There were quite a few people in the meeting, who lost a lot of weight, following the program, but all of them were young or young-ish. My sister told me that, she will be rooting for me, while I follow the instructions, and I am very grateful for that.