STUBBORN ME

     My friends, here I am! I didn't abandon my blog. I was just not sure, what direction my life should take. So many decisions and beginnings, but - not enough strength, I'm afraid.
     So, I began the Food Addicts Anonymous program. Since Tuesday last week I lost 7 Lbs. I also have serious problems obeying the dictates of the program and my sponsor. Do I plan to sort myself out and be serious about the weight loss? I am serious about it, but I don't have the willpower.
     It doesn't help that, Reina decided to make an absolutely scrumptious Japanese dish last night!

Rice with a bit of vinegar and sugar mixed with boiled fresh sugar peas, egg, shrimp and seaweed. Yum!

I have to call my sponsor every morning at 6. At that time I'm supposed to tell her my menu for the day, written out by me the night before. This way I commit the food I'm about to eat to God and the sponsor. Even though I don't like quite a few things on the menu, I can deal with my rebellious taste buds and choke down plain, nonfat yogurt and gritty oatmeal. Boiled veges are a bigger bother. 

I never knew, I was so stubborn. I expect to be inspired to continue with the program, but the world doesn't work that way. Being sick and tired of people in the church telling me what to do and it turning out to be a hoax doesn't help. Who is that young girl, my sponsor, to determine, what's acceptable and what's not? 

Of course, in order for me to be inspired, I need to attend the meetings, read the literature and pray. Prayer is not a problem: I do it all the time. Taking huge amounts of time to go to 3 meetings a week seems unthinkable! Mary decided not to go there anymore, so its up to me and my painful knee to drive to San Leandro, get Roberta out of the car and into the building, and then go back to the car, find a parking place and walk, God knows how far, back to the building, where the meeting is taking place, only to repeat it in reverse at the end of the program. 

Is it impossible? Not really, but - definitely - hard to accomplish.