Its been too long, I know...
I can't answer even to myself, why I didn't write my blog. I kept to my decision to adhere to a diet of no carbs and reasonable portions. I lost 10 pounds and kept it off for almost two weeks, which is a positive way of saying, I couldn't lose any more weight. Its OK, now that I'm on my way and experienced the results of dieting, I am confident, I can lose more. Its just that, I feel blocked, for some reason, either scared to embark on this new path of healthier living and not letting myself recognize it, or ... or I was wrong to quit the Food Addicts Anonymous. After all, I put a lot of hope into starting that program and asked my Higher Power to be with me and strengthen me. Do I feel the aftermath of going against my promise to attend the FA?
I don't know. It seems, my conscience is uneasy, that's all.
Emotionally, the most significant part of my life is - receiving and answering my friend's letters. She and I met 49 years ago in line to enter our first grade classroom and stayed friends all through the ten years of school, as well as after that, right until I left Russia with my parents.
It turns out, Tanya became a Russian Orthodox Christian. I grew up in a Jewish family and always was suspicious of the Russian priests. It seems, I misjudged them and their church.
Tanya sent me a book, written on that subject. Reading it I feel of loss. What I find out about those monks and Russian Christians, who endured the real evil of the Soviet persecution, makes me wish that I met some of them while I was still a young adult, living in that country. Who knows, how my life would've turned out to be!
This is Father Ioann Krestyankin, a prophet and a new martyr.
I did not convert to the Russian Orthodoxy. I bow my head with respect for it's strengths and trials, but my heart, as they say in Russia, "doesn't lead toward it".
Instead I lit Hanukkah candles, when the time for that Jewish holiday came, and prayed for God's light to enter our lives and the world. Am I a fool and a hypocrite to profess belief in Jesus Christ and celebrate Jewish holidays? I don't think so! Unless we can reconcile the past hurts and differences, we don't have a hope for a better future!
Hanah arrived with her friend-the-giant on the 22nd (poor guy, I keep picking on him!). Reina lived in Hanah's room, so she had to again make the couch in the living room her temporary home. She told us right away that, they had to return to Arcata before the New Year because of some theater business.
By Christmas day, I thought of and prepared everything, except: I didn't know, how I'd do it. You see, I hurt my knee and, although I was ready to work hard, making a beautiful holiday for my family, on Christmas morning I realized, I couldn't do it by myself!
Did my loved ones jump. to my aid?
No matter, how much I asked for help, they hid in their rooms and electronic devices and turned a deaf ear to my requests. On the above mentioned holiday morning I declared: "Christmas is canceled, as well as the presents! I feel all alone today, so let's not pretend that we are trying to be a family!"
Inside I was ready to go through with my decision. When I glanced into the kitchen, however, I saw that, Hanah picked up a broom and was sweeping! Sonny still held on to the cat in his arms and watched Hanah with reproach. A sharp word from her, and he jumped to the task that she gave him. She has about ten times more the amount of influence over him than I do!
I kept my own tongue in check, and we began to prepare the Christmas dinner and the table together. Hanah even cooked very delicious chicken!
ate, laughed and oohed and aahed over the dishes prepared together.
Some days before the holiday Taka and Sonny put Christmas lights on a bush and grass in the garden.
Although it is hard to see it on this photo, the effect was magical!Hanah declared that, that was the best Christmas she's spent with the family! For a few days we enjoyed ( mostly) being with each other, unless we didn't...
What can be better than to see your children loving and spending time with each other?