Thursday, February 6, 2014


     Sane or insane? Sad or happy? Can't or can do?
     When I pray for my children, for example, often a thought interferes: most people on this Earth pray for safety for their families and success in their ventures. Look, how much tragedy there is in the world! What makes me believe that God, or, as they call it in the Al Anon, my Higher Power, would consider satisfying my requests? 
     Whatever it is that moves me these days: inspiration, motivation, newly found belief in myself, makes me counter my own thinking: "I must trust that God will help me. I am not the same person who sat in front of the TV two years ago, empty and hurting from all the loss that I suffered. God supplied friends and acquaintances to give me good advice about finding new paths in life. He/She helped me collect my thoughts and ideas to start writing this blog and dare to offer my stories for a magazine to print. God led me to and convinced me to start this Weight management Program. Of course He/She are there for me!"
     Out of the insanity of my lifestyle, the uncontrolled hedonism that permeated my existence, I was able to create a very satisfying routine of putting the inner workings of my heart and mind on the paper. I started counselling sessions with Mr. P., and he brought me to Al Anon, where there is a promise of a new community, new friends. Was it God who did it?
     Perhaps, some small portion of my Higher Power is, really, MY higher power? I mean, the part of me that is untouched by bitterness and disappointment of the past, that was waiting dormant until I began to believe in myself again or got desperate enough to attempt new things. 
     It's so incredibly wonderful, to think that I have a potential for success! If it's not just myself that I rely on for new opportunities in life, and if it's not just God but also My OWN Higher Power that gives me strength to persevere in whatever I am doing, then I have a confidence in the good outcome for it. Don't you think so?

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