I am feeling... sad?
I know, I should get myself up and out of the house. I know, I should go somewhere, where there are people and potential new acquaintances or even friends.
Last Wednesday morning Doris, sufficiently "motivated" by Mr. P., who is also her counselor, volunteered to take Roberta and myself to the women's Bible study at Creekside Community Church. I don't need someone to be bullied into being my friend, but - what's done is done - and it was nice of Doris to go beyond her limitations!
Anyway, we made it to the Bible study. It was good to be among women and feel encouraged and accepted. Our small group was very sincere in sharing, so Roberta and I felt at ease.
Last night I agreed to go there again, but this morning found me with a headache and tired beyond all endurance after another night on the couch, trying to watch out for the night-roaming Roberta. I cancelled the trip to the Bible study.
I'm afraid, I am heading for a disaster. Roberta's mental deterioration will only increase with time, so, what am I going to do, when she'll start leaving the house to wander the streets? It would be terrible to place her in an old folks' "home", where she'll be more adequately looked after, but what else is there to do? Fortunately, there is still time until that would be necessary. At least I hope so.
Today is Purim. What is Purim? Are you up to par in YOUR Bible learning? OK, don't beg, I'll tell you about it!
There was a large Jewish community in Persia in the 4th century BC. The Persian king was busy subjugating other nations and not getting killed by his generals. He had a beautiful wife, who snubbed him in public once too often (actually, I think, God gave her a pimple, and she didn't want to show herself in public) and got herself kicked out of the marriage and the palace.
The king needed a new wife. God inspired a Jewish merchant Mordechai to place his kinswoman, Hadassah (who later took the name of Esther), in the position to be chosen for that role.
Lo' and behold, Esther won the king's favor and as such was able to foil the evil plans of Haman - the Grand Vizir, who desired to not only elevate his position in life, but also to slaughter the Jewish population of Persia. He was killed instead, as well as a lot of HIS kinsmen.
Today I listen to some Jewish songs and cry instead of rejoicing. I know, I know: it's contrary to what we are suppose to do during this holiday, but my heart is moved to cry in sadness AND in joy.
Nevertheless, tears are tears, and they made me sad. Stupid, huh?