Wednesday, May 29, 2013


     This time the minister showed up. He always showed a lot of attention to my father at the church. I could be standing right next to him and not get a simple "hello". Perhaps, he hoped that dad will leave him an inheritance! Like I said, this time he was there. Taka and Sonny also came. We decided to pray. Taka didn't make any attempt to comfort me or even just take my hand. I pulled Sonny to myself and held on to his arm. To make the long story short, after a while we decided to stop the resuscitation. My dad's organs were failing, and it took a lot out of him to keep fighting for each breath. The tubes were pulled out, the morphine was administered, and now we had to wait for him to quietly slip away. Taka went home, because nothing should interfere with his routine. The minister stayed for a little while and then left too. In a couple of hours I drove Sonny home and came back. I spent four hours sitting by my dad's bed, talking and singing to him, and praying too. Taka came to exchange the cars: I had his at the hospital. He didn't stay at all.  
     It’s a wonder that so many people don't believe in the existence of a spirit. They should just watch someone die, and there won't be any doubt. A few seconds before, it was my father. As he passed away, what remained, looked like a shell, nothing more.  
     I walked the hospital corridors, carrying and dropping dad's things. On the way home I almost had an accident, because I was crying while driving. At home, at least, Sonny came and hugged me. Taka came from behind as I sat on the couch and plopped me on the head a couple of times. If he was in front of me, I would've .. No, I wouldn't. 
     It continued like that. At night, he must've heard me cry. He never turned to me or showed any warmth.  
     I no longer kid myself that our problems come from cultural differences. A stranger from another planet would've behaved better. After almost twenty five years together, I realize that what connects us is some theoretical belief in the common good, without any real affection. 

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