Monday, May 27, 2013



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The clan slowly gathered to Nagano. We had time to go, see the sites and visit the grandmother's place of burial. 
It was a small grave with a memorial stone right on the muddy, woody hill over the freeway. 
images (197×256)      Taka, Sonny and I went to pray there. I slipped on the mud and fell. I held Sonny's hand in one of my own. The other arm had two surgeries after a bad elbow break. I couldn't lean on it and didn't want to let Sonny go, because the freeway was very close. Taka just looked at me flopping on the mud by the grave, holding on to Sonny, and didn't make any move to help me or take Sonny's hand from me. I felt something snap in my mind. Perhaps, it was the grandmother, scolding him. "What kind of a husband are you? Don't you feel like you need to help me or protect your son?" He didn't answer, just propped me up a little. You'd think, that should've taught him something, but - no.
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The ceremony was a grand affair, with the Buddhist priests chanting and beating the drums and the rest of us trying to behave and pray, but more often then not, slipping into the crowd ogling. 
images (225×225)     Before I went to Japan, I had a dress made, specially, for this occasion. It was light weight, with busy flower pattern. A lady neighbor made it for me, swearing that it was the best dress she's ever sewn. I'm sorry for the people who wore other dresses by her! My dress began to fall apart on me, in the middle of the rite. It was a good thing that the ceremony took place at the house where we stayed, and I could run and change! I shudder to think, what would've happened if we were someplace else. This kind of stuff only happens to me, especially, when I'm trying to put my best foot forward. Why even try?!                                                                                                       images (261×193) 

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