Yep, that's how mad he gets, trying to motivate Sonny to action.
My foot still hurts. It was better for a couple of days, but started to ache again last night. The house is covered in the remains of the fast food: wrappers, boxes, cups from soda decorate every surface. I couldn't cook so much (or clean!) last week, and gratefully employed newly discovered food delivery services.
At night I hear Chicken Bone trying to get into a pizza box, left on the table. He goes after the leftover cheese, that's stuck to the top of the box, or some pineapple slices from eaten Hawaiian pizza.
I know, I'm prattling. There is a lot that's occupying my mind, but it's hard to decide, what is worth sharing with you in this blog.
With Mr.P. we talked about Taka. He keeps reminding me: "You get, what you tolerate". It's true, I realized, I am prone to celebrating every small achievement in relationship to my husband, forgetting that I can't relax the boundaries, which help protect me, no matter how much I desire to be at peace. For example, Taka and I might have a strong conversation about something, in which I stand up for myself or Sonny and remind Taka of the things he himself desires in our relationship: warmth, intimacy. mutuality. Sometimes he would suddenly respond by altering his behavior for a while, which would send me over the moon! The struggle to maintain healthy connections is never over though, and I shouldn't just ignore the grating sounds of his voice, the next time he berates us for something, but I often choose to do so, because I can't stand to be in a constant battle with him.
Well, I myself got depressed writing this!
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