SOMEWHERE ELSE

A Community of Faith Breakfast at my church. I went because, I had to meet a lady - Mary Kaye representative - there. She sold me a couple of lipsticks.

Does it sound funny that, I went to such a meeting just for a business transaction? The thing is, I was not interested anymore in hearing the praises to Rev. and Mrs. Moon! That's what it turned into: Dr. Durst, a former church President and a teacher at the church school for the last thirty years or so, made a speech.

He talked at some length of Rev. Moon's accomplishments and of the church community working tirelessly to uphold every member's spiritual life, as well as dignity and value. 

Here is Dr. Durst as a much younger man, talking about the Unification Church, what else!

One of the biggest problems I have with the church is that, I didn't feel all that "upheld" and nurtured! My own accomplishments and victories came as a result of hard work and sacrifice. When I needed guidance, I rarely got it. 

Dr. Durst talked about the value of each family. "Peaceful families", "beautiful families!" - he sang. Yes, sounds very appealing, doesn't it? 

We, people of different countries, cultures and worldviews, were matched by Rev. Moon. How hard it is even for the couples from a similar background to understand and love each other, when mutual attraction is their bases of the relationship in the first place! We chose to be together, according to Rev. Moon's suggestion. Most of the time we never met each other before that, but that's not the worst thing: after all, we had a desire to make a family together, which would bring restoration to our cultures and lineages. 

The worst is that, we had no help dealing with the realities of life with a total stranger! There was no guidance, even when we urgently asked for it. Perhaps, you might say, ours was a new movement, and things needed time to be arranged? 

Twenty years after Taka and I were married, (and not for the first time) I asked to meet with our local pastor, to talk about the grievous lack of connection and understanding with my husband. I would be still waiting for that meeting, if I didn't, like they say in Russia, "spit on it", finally, and looked elsewhere for help! 

But I started talking about "each member's spiritual life and character being upheld". 

I have so many of the same hang ups and character flaws thirty years after joining that movement! Except, to a small extent, helping me to understand, what religious life should be, no one ever showed any interest in helping me to grow, as a person, which, of course, also brought a lot of difficulties in my "peaceful and beautiful" family.

I like Dr. Durst, actually! He has the Jewish sense of humor and isn't a bad person, but today he lied through his teeth! 

Roberta is enjoying spotlight
 in a group of pastors and members.

Another question arises: what about these pastors and lay people, who come to the Unification Church meetings and meals? Are they aware of the church's leadership being as flaky as we found out lately? Are they aware that, the members, who serve and smile and clap so eagerly, - some of these same members - feel tremendous betrayal because of the actions of the Moon clan? Or is it a free meal that brings them along?

What would my "brothers and sisters" in the movement say, if they read this blog (which, by the way, none of them is interested to do, despite my requests)? No, I can not count on their interest or understanding. My path has to lie somewhere else.