HANGING

     Hey, there, are you surprised to hear from me? I hope, you are not angry for me leaving you all without updates on my family and myself. Hmm, sounds kind of conceited, doesn't it?
     Well, not much changed since the end of April or my last post. To my eyes, things are developing not in a good way though.
     

Sonny is decorated for
Christmas

Sonny is thinking to transfer from studying online at Arizona State University to study at the physical college there. That is, his dad is pushing for it, and Sonny halfheartedly follows his dad's idea. I think, my son should get out of the house to start his life, but I want it to be his decision. No idea, by the way, how to motivate him in that direction!
     Hanah is working as a stage designer. She also takes part in some plays. Sometimes I see her posts on Facebook, but she refuses to answer any of my inquiries. She doesn't call or write either. I can only

assume, I did something to upset her, because otherwise I have to worry that she is doing something she must hide from her parents. Then again, it could be, she is just selfish enough to ignore us that completely.
     Roberta. She, thank God, is physically OK. Mentally, though, is another story! Her mind keeps deteriorating, and there is nothing

anyone can do about it. 
     Yesterday she wanted to pay for our meal at a restaurant. She gave me a few bills and asked, if that was enough. There was $345 there, so I laughed and said, yes, it was enough. "How much is it?" - she said, pointing at the $100 bill - "One dollar?" During our further conversation I realized, she can't tell difference between $1, $10 or $100! The capacity to reason it out is just not there! 
     If you didn't guess it yet, I'm feeling quite depressed. I know, it's silly to expect everything to work out the way I want, but ... how can it all be going so wrong? 
     I continue to pray and trust, that God is with me and my family. I also go to see Mr. P. - my counselor, and push myself to attend Tai Chi class with Taka. My health issues are still there.
     So, I hang somewhere in between despair and faith. My previous life experience leads me to anticipate more failures on my part, but my faith tells me to change my attitude and hope for the best.

     Mr. P. says, I should set myself some achievable, real goals. So far we came up with walking 10 minutes and writing 20 minutes a day. 
     Send some positive thoughts my way, will you? I can use all the help I can get at this point!