THOUGHTS OF REGRET AND HOPE

     I didn't open the Blogger for a few days. What's the use? Why do I write? I started with the hope of expressing my innermost thoughts and memories. I did it in writing about my family's history and Moriko, but then the creative vein ran dry. I love working on my blog, telling you the goings-on in my family, but its not enough!
     I need to change my life, but, as it happens so often, I soon run out of steam in whatever I do, then - lose faith in myself. Doesn't everything I do turn badly? I carry so much regret, it drowns every hope I might have.
     Mr. P... Today, as I drove to his office for an appointment, I saw him standing by a car with a tall, elderly lady. I wasn't sure if I should interrupt their conversation, but they motioned for me to join them.

Before

     Anne Lamborn is Mr. P.'s client. She is a textile artist.
   

After the weight loss

     Recently Anne, who is now 71 years old, lost 140 lbs on Food Addicts Anonymous Program! That's, as they say, a whole another person!
     Mr. P. introduced me to her to inspire me to try and shed the fat. It worked! Anne sat down with me on a bench adjacent to the house and showed me all the Food Addicts' meetings in our area. I found it pretty doable to attend some of them, especially, because I can do it with Mary!
     After Anne left, I went to see Mr. P.
     There is something, I don't like to tell you. Mr. P. is a talented counselor, but sometimes I feel, he can be a little too full of himself. By now I know a lot of things about him, his accomplishments and the hurdles he overcame in life, because he never shuts up about them. Perhaps, it gets on my nerves, since I just separated from a cultish environment of the Unification Church, where we were required to ooooh and aaaaaaaaaaah over Rev. and Mrs. Moon's every move or thought.
     Now, that said, I am not willing to judge Mr. P. too harshly. I, myself, like to slip a few words about my pursuits in the conversations I might have with people around me. I too like being admired. Besides, Mr. P. can read me like a book!
     Do I understand myself or the reasons I have for allowing myself to overindulge in food or TV? I need help figuring out these things, before I eat myself to death, thus completely undermining my own desire to live a life full of purpose and accomplishment.
     To Be Continued...