I can honestly say, I like my marriage 100% more now than, I suppose, 5-6 years ago!
Five, six years ago even a possibility didn't exist of Taka becoming vulnerable and open in a conversation with me! Many such occasions ended with him responding with an annoyed:
"Wha-at?!" - to a first word out of my mouth. We din't treat each other like spouses or friends. I was very lucky, I had my parents living nearby and could always go to them, when I needed support or a place to hide out. Taka had his work, his office in our bedroom and, as I called them, "his favorite wives" - the computers.
Things really changed for the better. They are still very far from normal, so you hear me complaining and doubting the validity of my attempts to repair our relationship. My sister, who reads this blog, told me in our last conversation: "Stop bellyaching, already, you are together with that man for quarter of a century!"
What do you think? Should I just resign myself to co-existing with Taka, "working" in this family, as a devoted employee? What will happen, when it's just him and me left bouncing in these four walls?
Should I continue to write funny stories about cats and forget to disclose to you the desire for closeness and real relationships?
You tell me, what you think, I'm all ears!