Thursday, February 19, 2015


It was Valentine's Day. 
     Taka and I are married for 26 years and live together for 24 of them. During all that time he never gave me flowers or a present for that holiday. I sulked and cajoled for the first half of the many
years we are together, then stopped even thinking about it.
     Last week, I was driving home from an appointment with Mr. P., thinking, I should buy a cake for the next day: the Valentine's. Then I began having some other concerns and forgot about the cake. When I got home, Taka told me, he sent Sonny to fuel the car. 
     I sat by the laptop, typing, when I saw a beautiful California
sunset. I decided to take a picture of it for my Russian friend. Opened the glass door and the screen to get out into the garden. Chickie streaked by my feet and went straight for the grass in the backyard! I knew, I wouldn't be able to catch him, and Sonny was coming home any minute. I dialed his number and yelled: "S-O-N-N-Y, Chickie is out!!!!!!!!!" At that moment the door opened, Sonny walked in, carrying Chickie in one hand and ... a bouquet of roses and a box of See's

candy - in another! 

     You could've blown me away with a feather! What did it? I lost all hope of winning Taka's affection, at least, in the conventional way, like getting flowers for a holiday! Instead, I began to think, how I can make my own life better and become a stronger person. Time to time go to Al Anon, write about my feelings and talk to a counsel about all that. I started to assert my own dignity in dealings with my husband, not accepting the unacceptable behavior from him, like yelling or patronizing me. You would think, he'd feel threatened and pull even further away... Instead, he began to be more considerate! And now: the roses!

     It was a lovely and unexpected surprise! I feel encouraged by it. I feel, like a door opened into a new, better life.

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