Saturday, January 30, 2016


     I am a new creation!
     This is what you become after affirming your connection with Jesus and getting baptized: a new creation!
     What should I expect? Lightning visions and revelations? Seeing everything in a new light? Speaking in tongues?
     All of the above can happen. I didn't expect it, and it didn't happen to me.
     Instead I feel a little more aware of my daily attitudes. I feel more acutely, when my standard of living is slipping. I also feel calmer. 
     The last time I saw Mr. P., he asked me to give him my "sob story". You know: "My mother didn't pay enough attention to me...", or: "My dad beat me with a broom...". 
     I'm making light of it, but all of us carry the scars, lovingly, or otherwise, inflicted on us by the people, who should've only taken care of and prepared us for the future. Mr. P. didn't ask for my "sob story" in order to ridicule it.
     For two weeks since then I thought about it and became sure: I only told him the partial truth about my past. This week, when I went to see him, I, for the first time in my life, shared the most traumatic experience in my life.
     No, I"m not going to tell you, what it was about. It's very hard to squeeze out these words. I'll tell you this: partially, my mother, or both parents (I am not sure) are responsible. 
     But that's - besides the point. Mr. P. wanted me to talk about my pain, so that I could put it away and start the process of healing. From the distance of a lifetime it's easier to accomplish, than right when it happens.
     Healing, therefore, is the target. 
     Another thing my counselor wanted me to do, was to write affirmations about myself. That was also hard. I had to find dozens of things, I'm good at, like:
- "I am creative".
- "I am clever"
- "I am friendly"
- "I ..."
     Can you name some good things about you? Let's go!
     I was not very comfortable praising myself, actually, but, with Mr. P.'s urging, we filled the whole legal pad's page. 
     Then he told me to choose five of my virtues, which I liked the best. I wrote them on one side of a flash card. On the other I will put my life's purpose.
     First of all, why do I need it?
     I'm going to be 58 this year. There's very little time left to waste on some lazy, unprincipled living. especially, when I think of taking care of my family. Stating what the purpose of my life is can help me to focus the above mentioned virtues mobilize my will power!
     Here is what I came up with:
     "My purpose in life is: to support my family and others for greater growth and spiritual and physical health - through my own growing achievements in those areas, by utilizing my compassion, gentleness and wisdom."
     What are your thoughts? Do you think, this exercise and writing down the goal of your life can help you achieve the desired results? Please, share, what makes you succeed, or what you gained form reading this blog!

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