NORMAL?

     The day before Lera leaves for Denmark.

     Curry is cooking on the stove, rice is made. I dispatched Sonny to the store (again! It seems like we constantly need something!), and am trying to remember, what else I am supposed to do. 

     I can't get rid of the feeling that I am missing something. Or, - something is amiss. Is that normal? I should be at peace: Lera has done a lot to take care of me and my home. Just having her here is wonderful, she is my only remaining family, except for Taka and the kids. Taka is more of a boss than a husband, and the kids' agenda at this point in their lives is themselves. So Lera is the only   person in the whole world that can be there for me, when I need her. Is that normal?! I guess, some people have noone. I should be very grateful!

     Roberta recently took me to her room and asked to close the door, before starting to speak. She told me that, she expressed to Park a wish that they see each other at least once a week. It stemmed from a humiliation that she suffered, when people at the church were asking her, what he was doing, and she could not answer them. Park agreed and promised to come on Friday evening. Roberta made sure that her door from the street was opened, tidied up her little room; even made him a cup of tea. He didn't show up. It's been a few days, and he never called or came to explain his behavior. 

     I am trying to be sensitive to her feelings. No matter if they are genuine love or just a desire to belong, she is entitled to them. I only feel bad for her: to depend for comfort on someone of Park's flaky nature - at her age!

Lera and Roberta at the restaurant table

     In the morning Lera and I discovered that all of my dishes were dirty. I am still suffering from gout, and she didn't feel like washing a mountain of crockery first thing in the morning, so she took us to eat breakfast at a local restaurant! She spent a fortune on us during her visit! 

     I took pictures. Sonny, as usual, tried to resist

                         

                                

(I have a collection of the photos of his hand), but submitted to Lera taking a shot of him.

                                           Then - two!

                                                              

     

COULD BE WORSE!

     How old. How tall. One's gender. Get on the scales and get depressed. 
     I quit my diet to have a chance to get rid of gout, but gout is there and I didn't lose any weight these couple of weeks. I didn't gain any either, and that's a relief!
     Today Lera and I went shopping. Among other things we bought scales and, upon coming home, set them and got weighed. That's when I felt down. Apparently, I am more than twice Sonny's weight! I am not going to go into other reasons, why my weight upset me. 
     A-a-a-anyway, on a lighter note... I have a theory that, it's my family's fortune that makes us susceptible to all kinds of strange occurrences. Things happen to us that would never happen to other people...
     Lera walked into a 99 cents Store, swearing that all she will buy there will be some cups and paper plates. I first stood parked right by the entrance, but as the security officer frowned and shook his finger at me, I moved to another place. Time passes slowly when someone shops and you wait for them in the parking lot. Still, she was taking so long! I moved the car back to the entrance, afraid that Lera would, somehow, go looking for me and we'd get lost. Half an hour more passed. She, finally, showed up and got in the car. I said: "You must've bought a lot of cups!" - and she dissolved into an embarrassed laughter.
     As she squeezed the words out, I began to laugh too. 
     Lera found the cups and a few more things to buy. She already paid and checked out, when she remembered the paper plates. She asked a clerk, where they were, left her cart with bought groceries and went away for a few minutes. When she came back, the clerk already took things from Lera's cart to be put back on the shelves! 
     Fortunately, Lera kept her receipt and was able to prove that she paid! Now, tell me if you think that, something like that could happen to you!

     

POKER AND TUNA FISH

        We turned the house upside down and back!
      Lera came to believe that, if we do some re-shuffling of the furniture in the living room, we'd have better and more comfortable decor. She convinced me, and we began to slowly sort things out and away to move furniture around.
     It took awhile, and with every cleared space or cabinet, more and more debris was left lying around the room. At the darkest moment, it seemed that the house was never cleaned at all!
     It's still dirty. Today the plan was to finish re-decorating by vacuuming. Unfortunately, the side of my foot is pink and achy, and it's up to Lera and Sonny to do everything!

Roberta is our dealer (I'm talking about card game!)

     That happened over a few last days. Lera and I lived following an easy schedule the week before. Roberta taught me to play poker, and now Lera joined our group. I believe that, it's vital for Roberta to use her brains and wits to stay sharp, and poker is great for it. I, myself, think that that game is too easy. There, I said it: easy! Except for the art of bluffing, everything depends, mostly, on luck. When I tried to introduce Roberta to a Russian card game, the Fool, she almost had a conniption from too much thinking. So, poker it is!

     We, probably, played a few hundred games. Otherwise, Lera followed me on different errands. She went to Alameda with me, when I had appointments with Mr. P., and spent time walking around Alameda downtown or a mall, or reading in the library. Last Wednesday, we went together to Al Anon meeting. She takes care of me and pampers me. We went to a crepe cafe and had some amazing concoctions with chicken, mushrooms and spinach.


     With everything that we had to do for re-decorating, I also had to make meals. It took two tuna cans and a lot of fresh vegetables to create lunch. Lera, I and Taka had tuna on a salad bed. Roberta opted for a tuna fish sandwich. Chicken Bone had tuna water from two cans, licked two tuna cans and a couple of plates clean and begged and begged for tuna scraps at the table. I found him looking totally spent in a sunny patch by the window. To tell the truth, I had to check if he was breathing! 

He is so full, he looks like a dead cat.

Poor glutton slept for a few hours, then I saw him on the dining room table, looking for something to eat.

     


 

GOD AND BUDDAH

     Everything are going fine, but my mood is glum. Perhaps, it's that Western habit of expecting things to soon change for the better. My foot hurts, but, surely, it will stop soon! Gout keeps reappearing? Next time will be different! 
     I don't know for sure, but I heard that the essence of the Buddhist teachings is: "this is as good as it gets." Meaning that, deal with the present situation and don't hope for the better. If only I could be happy doing just that!
     Yesterday, I thought suddenly that I omit one important factor from this reasoning. God. Whether my Heavenly Parents will choose to help me or not, I also don't know, but for the sake of the relationship with them, I must have hope. Am I right? 

TULIPS, GRAVES AND CANDY

A couple more days in pictures.

Tulips opened on the dining room's table and let us see their fiery hearts.

We went to visit my parents's graves in Colma. I was so glad that my sister was with me: I seem to feel stronger and stronger the grief of mom's and dad's passing.

That little city has at least four-five cemeteries. The saddest  is a military one: so many grave markers, unrecognizable one from another. I took a picture of it through my car window.

At night, Roberta made a visit to the living room, where Lera and I were watching TV and eating some candy. We shared our treats and were delighted to see the pretty ribbon from the candy box decorate Roberta's gray hair!

Chickie helped me make turkey meat balls. He oversaw the process, 

although at the end, I think, he realized that we will not let him sample the meat.

Today Lera colored my hair. This is an early phase of the process.

HA-HA

     Another early morning. 

     I have a lot of heavy misgivings on my mind. Most of them are in regards to my Weight Management Program. My doctor wrote to me that, because I keep getting gout attacks, he thinks, I should transition out of the program. What does it mean? The rest of the people are going to transition to adding real food to bars and shakes that we've been using for nutrition, anyway! Are they trying to get rid of some of us, just as the crucial information is about to be shared? Now is the time to absorb new ways of living: eating and exercising the way that will ensure that, the money, pain, effort and our hopes were not misplaced in following this Program, and that we can keep the lost weight off. 

     I need your prayers and good thoughts! Part of me wants to quit: that's not new, I'm an accomplished quitter. Part of me wants to see, if I can make a new person out of myself. Part of me is laughing at that possibility even as I write about it!

     

PAST TWO DAYS

What we did these past two days:

     Went to celebrate Mother's Day in Sushi Boat restaurant with Taka, Lera, Sonny and Roberta. Taka behaved like he would rather be somewhere else and waived us off to have a picture without him.

Phooie, we had nice food and didn't mind him.

Everyone slept when we came home. 

At night, Lera and I opened a box of See's Candy given to me by Roberta and had just a couple of them each. You can see Lera here sporting a pink rubber ribbon with a beautiful flower that used to be on the box.

Today I took Roberta to Physical Therapy. I love the building in which it's office is located. It's surrounded by silver birches, Russian favorite trees.

We shopped (Beauty Supply store, a pharmacy to buy hair coloring, ladies' clothing store).

On the way home we went to a new cafe in Hayward. 

We sat at the table, drunk our coffees and gabbed. 

Good time - all around!

Came home and slept. Chickie showed us the best method and an attitude for it!

Sylvie was his best contender.