HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    
 Life goes on. From the high notes to the low ones, from the peaks to the valleys: our business is to put one foot in front of another and do our best to be good parents, spouses, caretakers.

My Grandparents
on dad's side

     I am a Christian, but my Jewish roots assert themselves throughout every day of my life. What does it mean? 
     Being Jewish doesn't mean, one worships at a synagogue and eats only kosher foods. Being Jewish means belonging to a culture, a people, who withstood unimaginable adversities together and carried with them that same sense of oneness and belonging, no matter, what religious - or otherwise - affiliations they might have!
     On the thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth of September the year ended and began. The year 5777 on the Jewish calendar! May it be for the whole world a year of joy, great accomplishments and reconciliation!
     As a small reminder of that occasion, Sonny and I lit candles on the first evening of Rosh Hashanah and made a celebration on the next one. Serina, Roberta and I lit the candles again. 

The meaning of that Holiday is showing our reliance on the Grace of God for making the next year - a year of joy and prosperity. That's why we eat apples dipped in honey for it to be sweet and eat things - like fish heads - to ensure being at the top of our chosen pursuits and occupations. 

     

We didn't manage to secure a fish head for our dinner (nor did we really try!). Instead we had the honeyed apples, cake, challah-bread (also dipped in honey)  and watermelon. We toasted the old year out and the new year in with the black currant juice and wished each other for our names to be inscribed in the Book of Life.



     And that was the good part of the week. For the shocking rest of the story read my next post.

HOW STRANGE!

It's so strange: parents are the first most important people in our lives. They will always stay so. Our characters, emotional, physical and spiritual lives all depend on that primary influence. 

Then they are gone, and all we can do is stand by their graves, thinking sweet and bitter thoughts, wishing to see their faces once again!

We (Taka, Roberta, Sonny, Serina and I) went for a visit to the Eternal Home cemetery in Colma, Ca. Taka was the first one out of the car to go and find the exact place, where we needed to go, because it wouldn't do for Roberta, even with her new walker, which she named "the Mercedes", to go wandering around the long, twisting paths among the graves. 

She climbed out of the car. We brought the "the Mercedes" to Roberta's door, 

but the next thing I saw, was her, bent over, hanging to it for dear life! Her legs just refused to hold her! We had a few very tense moments, with me struggling between holding on to the bouquet of flowers and Roberta's behind and trying to turn her around and sit my elderly friend on the walker!

Sometimes I feel like a real moron, putting her wellbeing at risk!

Like I said in the beginning, it's strange to visit one's parents' graves and know: we won't see each other until I am also dead and buried!

Why do Jews leave stones on the graves instead of the flowers? Perhaps, it's because the rocks express the stark reality of death: how hard and unyielding it is, just like a stone!

Well, what was there to do except to send the dear departed our good thoughts and prayers?! 

THE CHAOS, THE FOOD AND THE BISON'S HEAD (AGAIN)

What a chaotic day we had! For the last couple of days I cooked and also bought us some food, so the refrigerator was bursting at the seams. Despite that, or, may be, - just bare with me, I wasn't brought up on the conspiracy theories for nothing! - may be - Taka insisted that, we go to the Texas Roadhouse not to show Serina a real American restaurant, as he claimed, but for some other, perverse reason, like to avoid my own cooking!

What can be more American, than the Texas Roadhouse, with a bison's head hanging over the front door and people coping with the stress of tremendously loud country music by crunching on the peanuts they scoop from little tin buckets?

I dealt with it. Food is a great stress-reliever, after all!

I ate my salad before the steak arrived, I swear!

We ended up having a good time. The steaks were nice and tender (if a little too salty). What you see on the next photograph is not people staring at their phones to avoid a conversation: they were, actually, taking pictures of the food and each other, 

as a Native American looked at us from a large poster on the wall.

What would he say about all this food-centered bacchanalia? 

Anyway, kids had a good time. That's the main thing, right?

At home everyone plopped belly-up on the beds and the couches to finish digesting our meals.

In a few hours, however, the guys - Sonny and Taka - decided, they were still hungry and ate the leftovers. Wow!

On an unrelated topic, this is Sylvie, declaring in no uncertain terms her ownership of Serina's shoes and Serina herself. 

SWIMMING IN THE CURRENT OF...

     These days are filled with stress. Not that I don't enjoy an opportunity to shine in situations, when my skills as an arranger or negotiator can be tried! 
     What the heck did I just say?!
     Sorry, it was just my way of telling you, "the caped crusader" in me likes to rush to a rescue. Like most "caped crusaders", I, usually, find: I have gotten myself into more trouble, than I bargained for!
     Let's talk about more important things:
     Mr. P. and I discussed the human propensity for interpreting the other person's behavior and motivations. Our emotional baggage forces us to imagine the way someone deals with us in terms of our memories and the wounds we carry from the past. 
     Taka's computer used to make this really loud bang, like a fist slamming on the table. I would hear it repeatedly and think: "He is so angry! I can't deal with this!" Taka, probably, wasn't angry at all (or, at least, not in the way I imagined)! On the other hand, my attitude toward him was colored by my perception of him being constantly mad at me. 
     We have to judge the others' behavior only in terms in which our physical senses read it. In other words, if I don't hear harsh words from someone or see them gnashing their teeth at me, I should not assume, they are mad at me simply because they, for example, averted their faces as they passed me. Mr. P. told me, how he became convinced that, his roommate was upset at him, because he rushed by him without saying a word. Upon asking the man, what was wrong, he found out: the person was just in a big hurry to leave and rushed to get something from his bedroom! So, the feelings that Mr. P. assigned to his roommate were entirely based on the painful memories of someone else's anger and mistreatment of him.
     Sitting in a squalid jail cell, being constantly abused and anticipating his death, St. Paul wrote in his 4th epistle to the Philippians:

    "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you".
     Isn't it better if, instead of living in fear of rejection, anger or failure, we simply try to remember the great blessings that God of our understanding, and, in my case, - the Heavenly Parent of absolute power and Mercy, bestowed upon us? Wouldn't it be wonderful to focus on all the wonder of love, all the marvelous energy that flows through the Universe and into our hearts and bodies? 

     Today, at least, I choose to swim in the current of God's love. I will focus on the things that show me His pure, gracious, lovely nature and become a little closer to that ideal!

TURKEY BURGERS AND THE CASH CIRCLING THE DRAIN

A small outing to the stores and a brunch. 

Serina lost her phone recently, so we went to Walmart and got her a very cheap one. We then proceeded to go to have a breakfast/lunch, since we didn't eat anything yet that day.

At a neighbourhood American diner Serina had an opportunity to find out, what split soup and an American turkey burger are! 

The plan was to take Roberta to a Day Spa for her to have a pedicure there. Roberta is 82 years old and things sometimes don't go, as they are planned.

she began to feel ill after taking just a couple of bites of her food and we made a hasty retreat home as soon as we could. 

Frustrated by seeing his beloved backyard

plants dying in the drought,Taka became obsessed by the idea of "gray water" - a way to transfer and use the water from the household appliences to irrigate the lawn. We asked an acquaintance to come and have a look, but he took too long for Taka's taste to start the work. For a few days now my husband harrasses me with a demand to find a plumber for the job. So, upon returning home, I've been calling the plumbers and making appointments for them to come and give us estimates. Something tells me, it's not going to be just water draining away into the backyard, but quite a lot of our cash too!

 

THE PHANTOM OF MY VANITY

It was a movie night! I recorded the Phantom of the Opera and offered Serina to watch it together. She seemed pretty excited to do it!

I explained the setting for the drama, and we continued to enjoy the music and the storyline. 

Roberta walked into the living room. I made place on the couch for her to sit next to me, I watched that film many times already, and Taka's company once, long time ago, when they still thought, they have to woo their talent, bought everyone - and their families - tickets to see that play at a theater in San Francisco.  So, I stopped focusing on the screen and got involved in playing Scrabble online. 

About forty five minutes into the movie and right after the exciting sword fight scene, Serina began to make some discontented sounds. I inquired, if she wanted to stop there and continue watching the movie tomorrow. To my amazement, she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue at all!

I probed a little. I like to please and feel bad, when my offering doesn't meet with approval. Yes, I know, its vain!

It turned out, my poor niece didn't understand, what the film was about! I should've explained it better to her, but her English seems so much better, than Reina's (the sister, who came to study last year)! Once again, I got lolled into complacency by what was on the surface of things, instead of trying to understand another person's real situation!

Being Japanese, Serina felt, she must make more effort! She found the explanation of The Phantom's plot in her own language, for a while read it very seriously and announced to me, that we can continue watching it the next day. 

Precious girl!

THAT'S WHAT WE GET, TRYING TO EMULATE THE BRITISH!

Sonny's attempt to make more British-like scones:

                                 

He doubled the recipe, but messed up the amounts of ingredients. 

As a result, he got one huge scone, which baked four times as long, as it originally had to. 

I don't think, we'll have a problem getting rid of it.

Do you?