The UC Magazine finally finished and printed their Automn issue with the exerpts form my memoirs under the heading: "Stones On The Path. My Family's search For Happiness." Despite my groaning that I didin't like the way that they edited it (I don't), I am very flattered! Any of you are a publisher? Want to have an unparalleled opportunity to be first to publish my writing in it's full form? My e-mail is dinatoyoda@aol.com!
By the way, I welcome e-mails and comments from everybody!
Things are interesting in my part of the woods:
Sveta, my Russian friend, for whom Doris and I tried to arrange a Baby Shower, declined it politely. I forgot that in Russia there is a superstition that one shouldn't buy anything for a baby before it's born. It is, probably, the strongest reason why Sveta didn't want to do it. And she felt too shy to be fussed over by a bunch of 'hens'. We'll still try to do something to "torture" her, like descend on her house uninvited with a bucket of KFC, or something.
A couple of days ago I wrote a story about my matching. I had a question to Mr. P., whether he thought that surrendering one's opinion and decision for the sake of one's belief or to keep peace in the family was a sign of co-dependence. I don't believe that it is. I consider it to be the strength of character to be flexible and support the purpose of the whole, even if it means, sometimes, forgetting one's own ideas.
Mr. P. wrote to me that a mark of an adult was to make one's own decisions, and surrendering that right was a trait used in cults. In other words: B-A-A-A-D! As I tried to say that I made MY own decision to accept Rev. Moon's choice for a husband, Mr. P. answered that he "was not interested to argue with me", and repeated his opinion again.
See, to me it looks like he wants me to forget what I think and accept his opinion! Isn't it what he is cautioning me against? What do you thonk? I mean, think? I was open to be humble and flexible because of religious and civic beliefs. I am not ready to give in to an authoritative demand!
Stating a characteristic of adulthood is not an authoritative demand. It challenges an action you took, yes. However, you may want to take a look at what makes you interpret this statement the way you have. You know, in all I teach, I tell everyone to take what they like and leave the rest. There are no demands. I ask others to have integrity and consistency with their convictions, yes.
ReplyDeleteCould it be that your strong reaction is because I disagree with you, regarding a matter that involved a major decision on your part? Does it strike a nerve?
One of the basic marks of an adult is making our own decisions.
I still stand by this position. A child is unable to make some decisions---especially in areas that are vital or critical.. It doesn't have the maturity or insight needed. Not so, for adults.
To have another make a decision for us is to allow that person to infantilize us. One of the biggest decisions a person can make is choosing with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives.
Who we marry is a bigger decision than choosing what car or house to buy. You let someone else do that for you. The question isn't whether to give in to an authoritative figure. You already have. It wasn't me, however, but the founder of the U.C., when you let him pick your mate.
Would it be possible for you to let me know your response to this comment?